Wisdom and maturity

Everything is conspiring to remind me that I am getting older. It doesn't help that I have a birthday later this month. (I can just about remember the days when I couldn't wait for birthdays.) I had such a busy few months with visitors and visiting that I've had to devote November to catching up on wear and tear appointments: dentist, optometrist, chiropodist, hairdresser, hearing care etc. All reminders that things are not what they used to be.

Yesterday, I had to go to the hospital in Exeter for my six-monthly check up with the lovely Macmillan nurses who have cared for my arm since I developed breast cancer related lymphodoema (BCRL) in 1995. Alison and Jayne have become special friends through the years and these appointments are more about celebrating life and survival than reminders of physical decline.  In the early days, when the arm was very swollen, I would go for two-week stretches, staying in a hotel and attending the hospital daily for massage and bandaging to reduce the swelling. Things are much better now and the condition is managed with a compression sleeve - my "badge of survival." My check-up appointments tend to be routine and an excuse to chat and share my home made cakes or biscuits.

As Jayne was marking off the measuring points on my arms and inspecting the skin for any signs of potential problems, she noticed a small lump on the affected arm. I told her that it wasn't troublesome and that Alison had been keeping an eye on it. "It's probably just another sign of ageing," I said, gloomily. Perfectionist Jayne asked if I minded having it checked out and she returned a few minutes later with a bubbly, attractive young woman who, despite her youthful appearance, was a consultant dermatologist. She looked at the said blemish and laughed. "That's a seborrhoeic wart," she said. "A mark of wisdom and maturity."

From now on, I shall not flinch at the sight of a new grey hair, a thickening toe nail or a yellowing tooth.   No more miserable signs of ageing for me - just more marks of wisdom and maturity! Bring it on!

Grandmotherly wisdom

Over on Bread and Roses, Dulce domum writes about the sound advice our grandmothers gave about food and nutrition. The wisdom that was passed from one generation to the next became a victim of modern living. Who wants to spend time preparing fresh vegetables when they can buy cheap processed food? Who lives close enough to their granny nowadays to listen to advice in the first place? However, as DD demonstrates, scientists keep proving that the old wisdom was sound and we would do very well to heed it.

A few weeks ago I decided to try to live on the wartime fare that my parents had to endure. I have been keeping to it for 4 or 5 days each week. Now that I have got into the habit of soaking beans overnight and preparing very large vegetable stews so that I don't have to spend hours in the kitchen every day, I am getting on quite well. Not only is it very economical but I am steadily losing weight without ever feeling hungry!

A recent study showed that half of the women prescribed the life-saving breast cancer drug Tamoxifen fail to take it. From my own experience and from talking to fellow patients, I think one of the main reasons for this is the associated weight gain. My oncologist used to say, 'It's only a pound' when I complained to him each month. 'Only a pound' a month for five years is an awful lot of weight. I did take my medication for the full 5 years - to the day - and it has been much more difficult to lose the weight than it was to put it on. But my wartime diet is helping and I am hoping to get back to my pre-Tamoxifen weight before too long.

I was asked for some grandmotherly advice myself today: Millie's Mum asked me for some fish recipes suitable for the baby, who is now 8 months old and happily eating everything she is offered. I made a simple fish pie with cod, mashed potato and steamed vegetables for her when I was visiting and froze lots of tiny portions, but I think they are running out. If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm sure Millie and her Mum would be grateful. My wisdom is a bit limited, I can't remember when I introduced other varieties of fish into my children's diet and the wartime book mentions only salt cod, not only hard to find these days but probably not suitable for babies.

Cake fundraiser

My marathon baking day is over, thank you for all the encouraging comments and emails. All the goodies sold and we raised £80 for a worthy cause. Not a huge amount, but the cake sale provided an opportunity to remind people of the work of Macmillan Cancer Support. As people choose their cakes, they start to talk about their own experience or raise a concern about a relative, friend or neighbour and it is good to be able to encourage them to seek the right kind of advice or help.

Here is what I made and sold. I will put up the recipes soon but just now, I've had quite enough of cakes!

1. cherry slices

2. Lemon drizzle bars

3. Sticky coconut and lime cake

4. Squidgy chocolate squares



5. Victoria sponge

The other items appeared on the last post:

6. Boiled fruit cakes

7. Nan's chocolate chip cookies

8. Lavender biscuits

Making and baking

The nip in the air on Saturday morning reminded me that I had some lovely russet wool from the Yarn Warehouse just begging to be knitted up for granddaughter Millie's first autumn wardrobe. This simple little Debbie Bliss sweater was ready for packing and posting on Monday, leaving me with plenty of time to get on with some baking.Every year at this time we are all invited to join in the World's Biggest Coffee Morning to raise funds for Macmillan Cancer Support. I don't have space to host a large coffee morning, so I have a cake sale at my church on Saturday afternoon.The Victoria sponges, tray bakes and cup cakes will all be made on Saturday morning but I have made a few fruit cakes already and lots of biscuits and cookies.


These are lavender biscuits, made from the Wintershall recipe.

And I used a recipe of Nan's from the Hill Farm for these very delicious chocolate chip cookies. I enjoyed using the set of American measuring cups that I've had for a while and now I wonder why we bother with scales. I'm converted, I just need to convert all my favourite recipes.

I hope to raise a little money for Macmillan on Saturday, but more important is the raising of awareness of the work they do for cancer patients and their families. I owe them a great deal and making a few cakes and cookies is a very small token of appreciation.

Race for Life

Congratulations to Juliet on completing the Race for Life in uncomfortably hot conditions. You can see her report and pictures here.

Racing for Life

Early in 1994, my parish priest asked me to call on a woman who had breast cancer. "She needs a friend but won't let anyone near her," he said, "perhaps she'll talk to you." That's how I came to meet the most beautiful, vivacious, intelligent and angry woman who was Angela. She had been treated for breast cancer ten years earlier but it had been secretly spreading through her body and now it was too late for further treatment. She was going to die but she wasn't going quietly!

The one thing I'm good at is listening; Angela ranted and threw me out but I kept going back for more and gradually we developed a friendship that is still painful in its loss. I would take her to stand at the top of Baggy Point and together we would scream out to sea, at the cruelty and injustice of this awful disease. This helped her and I recommend it as a way of releasing all that pent up anger and fear. We had several relatively calm months when we put together a book of memories for her daughter and any future grandchildren there might be. she never gave up her anger but some of the fears were addressed.

Then on, January 9th 1995, I was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. On the way to the hospital for surgery the next morning, I forced my husband to call at Angela's house so that I could tell her myself. Our roles were reversed, she now became the strong partner in our friendship; as her condition deteriorated she urged me to fight for her sake as well as mine. She died on 4th November 1995. I'm still here and not a day goes by without my thinking of her. She ensured that by giving me the jug pictured at the top of this post; she called it 'the ugliest jug in the world' but most precious to her because her parents had bought it on their honeymoon in Italy and now most precious to me.

I always wonder why I have survived and many women, like Angela, have not. The treatments available have improved but there is still much more to be discovered and understood. Everyone is touched by cancer at some point in their life, either personally or through family or friends. Everyone has a story to tell and some, like Juliet on the Muddy Island, get into action. She is preparing (in her inimitably amusing fashion) for the Race for Life, raising funds for research into cancer. If you would like to boost her morale during the last few days of her training, you might like to pop over to the Island and leave her an encouraging comment and maybe even boost her fund-raising. We survivors and all who follow will be forever in your debt.

Breast cancer - trusting your instinct

Kylie Minogue has made a courageous statement about the initial misdiagnosis - perhaps more accurately, missed diagnosis - of her breast cancer. She tells how she was assured that she was 'fine' just weeks before being diagnosed with cancer.

It isn't easy to speak openly about one's personal encounter with cancer for a number of reasons: the story is never entirely personal because one's family and friends are affected; the successful survivor feels for those who were less fortunate so celebration is always tempered with sadness; most people experience tremendous support and care from their medical team and fear that speaking out about any negative aspects would make their gratitude seem false or would undermine the great work that they do.

Kylie's message should not be seen, therefore, as a criticism of the wonderful care she had but as a warning to women and to the medical profession that the diagnostic tools that are used are not foolproof. Instinct, intuition and fears should be taken seriously. Early-stage cancers do not always show up in mammograms but most of the women I have spoken to 'knew' they had breast cancer before the medics could detect it.

I went to see my doctor in December 1994 because I had found a breast lump. My doctor couldn't feel it and thought I was having empathetic symptoms because I was closely involved with a friend who was dying of breast cancer. He agreed to refer me to the hospital but he obviously didn't consider the case to be urgent because I didn't get an appointment until 10th January 1995. By the time I saw the surgeon, the tumour was the size of a tennis ball and urgent surgery was carried out the next day to remove it. Unfortunately the cancer had spread and two more lots of radical surgery followed and then a year of aggressive chemotherapy.

I don't normally speak about my experience because I am so grateful for the care I had from the surgeon and his specialist team, the Macmillan nurse and hospice staff who supported the whole family through a traumatic year and the continuing support they give me for the secondary lymphoedema that developed after the second operation. Had my GP acted more promptly things might have been different, we all know that early diagnosis and treatment offer the best chance of survival and usually involves less invasive treatment. I certainly don't blame him - I think doctors are wonderful and I know how difficult early diagnosis can be - also, he is a personal friend and I know how much he blames himself; but I know that he always errs on the side of caution now when patients suspect something might be wrong.

So well done, Kylie, for speaking out. I hope your honesty will encourage women to trust their instincts and to ask for further investigations if they are concerned.

For a bit of breast cancer awareness with an element of fun go and read Juliet's Tackled Pink post on Musings from a Muddy Island.

Click a Day update

Thank you to everyone who clicked on the logo on the side bar. I see that the site has met 99% of its target with 5 days still to go. The advertising sponsors of the Breast Cancer site will donate 150 free mammograms to underprivileged women. Next time I'm tempted to grumble about the state of the National Health Service, I'll try to remember how lucky we are to have healthcare available to all in this country.

A click a day

My friend Crinny has alerted me to this:

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

As a privileged survivor of breast cancer, I would like everyone to have access to the life-saving treatment that I had, so I've added the Breast Cancer site logo to my sidebar. There are only 5 days left for the site to attract enough visitors for their sponsors to donate 150 free mammograms. They have reached 99% of the target, please help them to make it and CLICK now.