Bring us a Trollopian Prime Minister

".... He should have rank, and intellect, and parliamentary habits, by which to bind him to the service of his country; and he should also have unblemished, unextinguishable, inexhaustible love of country ... as the ruling principle of his life; and it should so rule him that all other things should be made to give way to it.... " 

I wish!

If the little things in life are annoying you......

..... compare them with everyday life in Zimbabwe right now. Mags Kriel, who produces the Bulawayo Morning Mirror, manages to remain cheerfully self-deprecating in the most difficult of circumstances. Her articles are always amusing yet they convey the harsh reality of life in Zimbabwe most effectively. Here is an extract from today's edition of the paper:

THE RELUCTANT KNITTER
Mother always said you should learn something new every day....

And today HeeHoo* taught me about the Hard Boiled Egg Index ! (*Mags' husband)

This is a peculiarly "African" thing. Now seven hard boiled eggs, the length and breadth of the Continent, should cost one US Dollar ! Or the equivalent in the local currency.

I wonder why they use 7 hard boiled eggs as a measure ?
Surely it should be a dozen eggs, or half a dozen, or at least a Bakers Dozen? But SEVEN hard boiled eggs ??
Does anyone know the answer. .....

The HARD BOILED EGG INDEX or HBEI is I gather, a universal currency rate used in Africa....
The Hard Boiled Egg Index is believed to demonstrate "fair value" given its
relationship to continent wide purchasing power parity. Sometimes the
parallel rate gets ahead of the HBEI and sometimes it lags behind (but not
usually for long). Generally the HBEI reflects exchange rate inflation,
regional purchasing power parity, and domestic inflation in a very effective
way.

Well that’s the official explanation at any rate.... so next time you buy a hard boiled egg on the street corner you will have learned something.

Lack of cash is hitting us all really hard. We were allowed to draw just three trillion dollars per day from the bank. (In the new currency, since they dropped ten zeros, it is just three hundred Zimbabwe dollars ) Now when one considers that a loaf of bread costs a quarter of that, one learns to spend ones money wisely !!

Some ingenious ways of finding money have arisen!! The banking sector is in such disarray that most firms and shops will not accept cheques. A cheque takes five to ten days to clear and the money has devalued significantly by the time the lolly gets into one's account.

The RTGS was the saving grace for a while, until the banking system buckled under the weight of all these zillions, then businessmen started to give different rates for cash in Zim dollars, a different rate for a cheque and a different rate for an RTGS. Of course first prize is any other currency !!

A restaurateur offered the following choices in Harare before the nought dropping debacle. "You either pay me 20 trillion Zim dollars cash, or the cheque rate is 56 trillion or you give me 90 US dollars." Which payment method would you choose?

It would take 7 days to draw twenty trillion cash at the allowable withdrawal of three trillion dollars a day!! Writing a cheque was an art!! A trillion dollars has twelve zeros, which cheque book has the space for as many zeros? HeeHoo wrote a cheque the other day where the zeros went round the corner and up the side of the cheque !! And the bank accepted it!!

One has sympathy for the business sector but they must be losing money hand over fist. HeeHoo tells a delightful story of five Captains of Zimbabwe Industry standing glumly in the Harare Domestic terminal bar, sharing two beers into five plastic cups, ..... the cost of two beers was seven trillion Zimbabwe dollars, was all these gentlemen of immense wealth could rustle up between them in local currency!!

How the average man in the street copes I have yet to ascertain. I do however know that people are dying of starvation, people are dying because their essential medicines are no longer affordable and people are dying because there are no drugs at all in the hospitals, even if they could afford to spend even one night in a hospital!! My own particular designer pills cost 18 trillion for a course of thirty and that was two weeks ago so they probably would cost double that today.

I have seen today's inflation graph and it goes straight up in the perpendicular!! We are all familiar with millions and billions and now trillions, but see what we had in store for us?

Quadrillion, Quintillion, Hexillion, Heptillion, Octillion, Nonillion, Decillion, Unodecillion, Duodecillion, Triodecillion, Quadecillion, Quintdecillion, Hexdecillion, Zillion

A trillion requires fitting twelve zeros and a zillion has 69 zeros!! Hope they get the cheque books sorted out quickly!! Thank goodness they dropped all those noughts off. And so shopping is out of the question, driving to visit a friend costs far too much. Going for coffee is a definite non starter, for a cup of coffee and a muffin, I would have to go to the bank ten days in a row!! (With fuel at a trillion dollars a litre!!)

There is certainly no point in going to work, as my wages would not cover my fuel to work and back daily, and so there is nothing else for me to do but to take up knitting. Reluctantly. Yes I am the original reluctant knitter but then nice warm scarf would be ideal for the security guard. Knit two, purl two, even my state of mind could cope with that......

Mother taught us to knit ..... knitting, sewing and cooking were obligatory for nicely brought up young ladies in the seventies, I learnt to make a pair of broekies at Eveline school, we used at least a yard of material, so they were bloomers of note!! Mum taught us chain stitch, daisy stitch and stem stitch, she taught us to make a button hole, sew a fine seam, and put in a zipper. She ensured I made a pair of bootees for each of my children and a tiny little knitted jumper for each baby!!

She taught me to sew curtains, bedspreads and dresses, but the moment she passed on to a better world, I turned my back on my embroidery scissors and beautiful skeins of thread, handed my tapestry over to someone a lot more worthy, and joined the ranks of the modern mums who DO NOT DO SEWING!!

But knitting is fine, it's mindless, it's soporific, it takes my mind off my desire for coffee, it takes my mind off the endless political turmoil,

knit two, purl two, knit two purl two .........

I really must stop complaining about the weather.

The Last Leviathan

Zimbabwe - what are the good people doing?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

In May, I chose Zimbabwe as the subject of my post on Bloggers Unite for Human Rights.
Since that time, the situation in Zimbabwe has deteriorated even further, while those who might have some influence remain silent. The governments of Tanzania, Swaziland and Angola have spoken out but the more powerful and influential neighbour, South Africa, still says nothing.

Today I received a letter from one of the aid agencies that I support, informing me that they have been forced by the Zimbabwean government to suspend all their field operations. (Click on the letter to enlarge)This ruling affects all groups giving humanitarian aid as well as those working on long-term projects to help the people of Zimbabwe to support themselves.

The latest news suggests that Morgan Tsvangirai may withdraw from the run-off election; while this may alleviate the immediate suffering of his supporters, it can only prolong the agony of the people of Zimbabwe. For more information visit the frequently updated Zimbabwe Situation or the Zimbabwe page of the Guardian's on-line news service.

Bloggers Unite for Human Rights - Zimbabwe

Today bloggers all over the world will be publishing posts showing their support for human rights. It is a sad indictment of our world that people like me can while away hours reading and writing about trivial matters when so many people don't have the most basic rights. I can't change the world but I can spend a day in solidarity with those whose rights are being violated in many countries: those who have no freedom of speech, no political rights or representation, those who are beaten, tortured, driven off their land; those who hope that we will hear and support them.

I want to draw attention to Zimbabwe, the country where my husband spent his childhood in far happier, more prosperous times, when Zimbabwe was the Breadbasket of Africa. The glimmer of hope we felt when the recent elections took place has faded as we read of renewed beatings, mutilations and imprisonments. Yet today I read this humbling, hopeful letter on Mags Kriel's Letters from Zimbabwe website:

Dear World, Remember Me? - 14/5/2008

Dear World, Remember Me?

Over a year ago, when I was sixteen, I wrote a letter to you, the world, regarding my homeland, Zimbabwe. Well, in five months, I will be eighteen, and we're still here; still broken. But, it's different now - the Winds of Change blow over the sands of Africa. There is an air of expectancy hanging over Zimbabwe, and the brooding horizon of the Future has crept a little closer than it ever has before.

For the first time, some dare to hope. Emotions run high as the fluctuating results of our elections seep through to the people. No one will admit it, for fear of disappointment, but, deep inside the hearts of Zimbabweans, flickering within these Children of Repression, something akin to the Hope we used to know ignites. With bated breath and shining eyes, we watch as the tiny flame of Hope, though small, begins to glow ever more brightly. Sure, there has been nothing definite, but when one has experienced suffering as Zimbabwe has, the faintest hint of Change, a mere breath upon the wind, is as blatantly obvious as the Dawn. And Dawn it is. After the longest Night of our lives, Dawn is about to break. There may be no rays evident upon the horizon as yet, but the Sun is there, ready to break free of its chains and Light our paths once again.

Like the coming of the Storm, the imminent arrival of the Change we had despaired after now burns through my blood. Suppressed excitement is betrayed by the hushed whispers that fly through our community like birds set free. Freedom, yes... Is that so much to ask for?

We have kept Faith, for a quarter of a century, and now, finally, finally, we are on the verge of Tomorrow. It took all we possessed to hold onto what little Hope we had, and many fell prey to Dejection, but we are Zimbabweans: Hope will forever burn in our hearts! Even in the Darkest of Days, we will hold our heads high, because, really, Pride, along with Hope, is all we have... (No food, no electricity, no food, no fuel, no food... It's hard to eat Hope, but it kept us alive regardless!)

And so, but a page away from the end, I wish to extend all the gratitude of my heart to you, the World. Though we are not quite free yet, our bonds are frayed, our cages rusted - they cannot hold us forever! To those of you who heard my plea, to those of you who listened, to those who cared - thank you. Thank you for your sympathy, thank you for your assistance, thank you for your prayers. Because you kept us in your thoughts, Someone, Something, out there, came through for us; Fate backed off, and we got to our feet, at last. So thank you.

As I said, it's not over yet, but we're so close I can almost taste it! To my fellow Zimbabweans, my People, Black, White, Indian, Multi-racial, all; both within this prison and outside of it, well, look at us... Look at what we are... We are a nation of survivors, eternally adaptable, suitably humble, and damn near indestructible! We have been to hell and back; we've seen horrors, and lived worse, and now, we appreciate Beauty, we appreciate Life. They couldn't beat us. They sure tried, and they very nearly did, but we're still here! And I, for one, am proud to be a Zimbabwean!

There's no grass here at the moment, so I guess it is definitely greener on the other side, but it will grow. We even had a good rainy season last year. The best we've had for a long time. Our country has been washed clean, bar a few stains, and once we've BLEACHED those, we can cut the cloth and fashion our Home into whatever we want it to be! And the grass? The grass will grow.

Fear of Change is fear of the Future, and if we fear the Future we will remain stuck in the Past. Now is the time for Change. Now is the dawn of the Future. And I... I am not afraid. No, I am not afraid.

Soon, when this is all over, and we may breathe again, I hope to see my brethren, free and unafraid, return to this, our country; our home, Zimbabwe. I hope to see the Future restore my Thriving, Living, Loving People, and I will not settle for anything less.

So, to you, the world, thank you. We're almost there; so close, so, so close. I was born into this version of Zimbabwe - it is all I have ever known. But I know it was better before, and we will be the Breadbasket of Africa once more. Never again will we allow ourselves to be dominated like this - NEVER. Now, all that remains after this Long, Dark War, is to rebuild. We will need all of your support in the Future, for to rebuild our Lives, our Homes, our Country, will take as much determination as surviving this Dark Era did, and the process of picking ourselves up will be even more arduous than bearing the beatings of the Past. And so, I implore you, remember us, the Nation that was brought to its knees, but which refused to give in. Remember us. And to the Zimbabweans out there, come home... This country is nothing without its People!

As we move on, and away from the Darkness of our past, let us remember: Humanity's history may have been written in blood, but our future doesn't have to be!

To the world, thank you,
Tanya Hunt
(An almost-eighteen year old Zimbabwean)

I hope the world will not disappoint Tanya and all the other people of Zimbabwe.

Big day for Americans

I have been tempted to ask my American online friends and acquaintances to explain the complexities of their electoral system. I read their blogs in the hope of learning about such things as caucuses and Super Tuesday but I suppose they just take it all for granted and don't feel the need to explain. I'd like to ask them how, in the land of Democracy, small groups of women meeting for coffee in a midwest town can decide who is to run for president - I expect I've misunderstood. Another thing I've probably got wrong is thinking that only multi-millionaires can become president; that seems to be as much a given fact as that only Scots can become prime minister here.

As far as I can see from our news coverage, the whole presidential selection procedure is more about image than policy. Barack Obama, apart from being the first black potential president, appears to represent change but in a rather unspecified way. I've heard him described as the most eloquent public speaker since Jefferson, so perhaps he'll get in on words alone.

I had to rack my brains to remember the name of the Republican candidates, never mind recalling anything about what they represent. That's probably down to our press coverage, too. It would seem that John McCain is likely to be a clear winner and his appeal is that he is admirable as a Vietnam war hero and deserves sympathy because he survived torture.

That leaves Hillary. She is the first woman candidate, she is apparently a good lawyer and has a lot of experience. Unfortunately she has to live down certain family connections so she uses tears to win the sympathy vote. But McCain is after that vote with better credentials. What's a girl to do?

I thought everything would be clear by the end of today but I've just read that the process for selecting the Democratic candidate could rumble on. What comes after Super Tuesday? Wonderful Wednesday or Fantastic Friday? I'm not interested in party politics, since I can't vote, but I would like to have a better understanding of the procedure for choosing a president. Do the candidates who have battled each other for nomination become campaign buddies for their party once the decision is made? Does everyone get to vote for the president as well as for their local representative?

I'm embarrassed to admit my ignorance on these matters but I've asked around and no-one I know can answer these questions either. I would appreciate a simple explanation of the basics.

A point too far

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor's response to the government's refusal to exempt Catholic adoption agencies from new gay rights laws manages to do what the government has failed to do i.e. to draw a distinction between homophobia and the establishment of new norms:

'....what is happening with the imposition of the regulations is that a proper desire to remove hurtful homophobia and permit adoption by same-sex couples becomes the establishment of norms that everyone must accept. The imposition of such anti-discrimination legislation becomes the creation of new rules of normality, which, in this case, simply push the point too far. '

Since coming to power in 1997, the Labour government has passed 114,000 pages of legislation, creating over 3,000 new offences. Will it now be an offence for an individual to hold the view that the word 'parents' means a mother and a father? This is not a straightforward anti-discrimination law; it seeks to change the definition of parenthood. It is not a law to protect the rights of a minority group but to create new rights for that group; rights that will become unassailable once granted. It is not a law to protect the rights or to serve the best interests of children.

We have seen many changes in attitudes towards homosexuality in recent years, and rightly so; but hearts and minds are changed by understanding and co-operation, not by legislation. As the Cardinal says, this legislation pushes the point too far.