Luvnick returns

The MM has completed his peregrinations, but not without a few misadventures on the way home. He was due to land at Gatwick at 05:00 yesterday, allowing him six hours to get to Paddington for breakfast, newspaper and train home. He called me at 11:07 to say that he had just arrived at Paddington to watch the 11:04 train, complete with his reserved seat, disappearing down the track. He would be arriving at 15:00 instead of 12:45.

I duly drove to Tiverton and was delighted to see him, tanned and smiling, descend from the only-slightly-delayed train. He was carrying his flight bag but what of his luggage? "That's in Kos." Knowing how absentminded he can be, I began to rib him but no, not only was his plane three hours late in arriving but no luggage was loaded at Kos, presumably to save the travel company time. All 200+ passengers were told, on landing at Gatwick, that their luggage had been left behind and they would have to form an orderly queue to be interviewed by the two airline employees, who would help them fill in claims forms. The hours ticked slowly away and the train was missed.

So, I haven't heard much about the drive across Europe yet, or the time on Kalumnos and the photographs are in the missing suitcase. We are confident, of course, that this will be delivered to our door by special courier within five days - the special courier may well be a flying pig.

Apart from the photographic record of his adventures in France, Belgium, Austria, Croatia, Serbia, Macedonia and Greece, there was nothing in his case that cannot be replaced. The most important item - my present - was in his flight bag! But, the majority of the passengers were families returning from a package tour and this must be a sorry end to their summer holiday.

I have just driven MM-Timothy-Tim-Timmy-Timnick-Nick-Luvnick to the hospital. He is to have intensive therapy for his identity crisis, which is rapidly turning into a multiple personality disorder. Perhaps Thomas Cook would take all the surplus identities and leave them in Kos.