erp: Would you like to hear about the first set of perfect American gnashers I ever saw?
It was 1965 and I was a student in Southampton. My friend Maggie's sister, Jean, was arriving on the QE11 from the States and we went down to the docks to meet her. She had a young male student in tow, the first American we had met: tall, blond, handsome with a filmstar smile. We only had a few minutes with Jean, who hopped into a taxi, leaving us on the quay the American, Greg. As she drove away, she called through the window, "Show Greg around for a couple of days. Everyone was very hospitable to me while I was in America. Now you can repay them for me" (Typical older sister behaviour!)
We took the handsome hunk to his hotel and arranged to meet next day to look at the places he planned to see.
Day 1 a group of us went with him to Salisbury and Stonehenge. He was not a talkative chap but he took lots of photos and kept writing in a little notebook that he called his account book.
Day 2, two friends and I took him to the New Forest. Everyone else cried off because they found Greg so boring.
Day 3 Maggie and I took him over to the Isle of Wight. Again, no conversation, just the camera and account book.
Day 4 Greg wanted to go to Winchester. Maggie and I had no money left for expeditions so he said he would pay bus fare for one of us. We tossed a coin, Maggie won and went back to college and I boarded the bus. The trip took about 5 hours in all and the kindly Greg bought me a glass of orange juice to keep me going. On the way back, he nodded off on the bus with his account book open on his lap. I peeked at it to see if his account of his visit was more fascinating than his conversation, only to find that 'account' meant a log of his expenditure, not his sightseeing.
The account book was divided into several columns and every penny he had spent was logged. Under the heading 'Unnecessary expenditure' he listed 'Maureen's bus fare 4s 6d. Maureen's orange drink 9d
No-one ever heard a word of gratitude from Greg. No-one ever heard of or from Greg again. Nice teeth he had though, don't you agree?
o/t My daughter will be in the UK next week to check out the work of a couple of architects. One in London and the other Glasgow. I don't mind telling you that I'm anything but sanguine about her traveling especially hearing all the crazy stuff with Moslem terrorists. She'd kill me if she heard me say this, but a mom's a mom no matter how grown up her chicks.
I know you'll worry whatever anyone says. I have spent many hours worrying about my daughter who lives in London but when I went to visit a couple of weeks ago I realised that everyone is going about their business normally. We didn't see any armed policemen or obvious security measures or feel that we were at risk at all. I feel very reassured now and just worry about her driving in London or getting stung by her bees!
I hope your daughter enjoys her trip and that you survive the anxiety.
I'll pay £60 million if you make him a ginger nut.
ReplyDeleteGood God, what have you done to the MM??
ReplyDeleteJust between you and me, Duck, he's about to become a ginger nut!
ReplyDeleteYou Nixons are one wacky family!
ReplyDeleteCan't be Brit skull. Teeth are too even.
ReplyDeleteerp, I almost added a subtitle about the teeth, just for you!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I couldn't resist.
ReplyDeleteerp:
ReplyDeleteWould you like to hear about the first set of perfect American gnashers I ever saw?
It was 1965 and I was a student in Southampton. My friend Maggie's sister, Jean, was arriving on the QE11 from the States and we went down to the docks to meet her. She had a young male student in tow, the first American we had met: tall, blond, handsome with a filmstar smile. We only had a few minutes with Jean, who hopped into a taxi, leaving us on the quay the American, Greg. As she drove away, she called through the window, "Show Greg around for a couple of days. Everyone was very hospitable to me while I was in America. Now you can repay them for me" (Typical older sister behaviour!)
We took the handsome hunk to his hotel and arranged to meet next day to look at the places he planned to see.
Day 1 a group of us went with him to Salisbury and Stonehenge. He was not a talkative chap but he took lots of photos and kept writing in a little notebook that he called his account book.
Day 2, two friends and I took him to the New Forest. Everyone else cried off because they found Greg so boring.
Day 3 Maggie and I took him over to the Isle of Wight. Again, no conversation, just the camera and account book.
Day 4 Greg wanted to go to Winchester. Maggie and I had no money left for expeditions so he said he would pay bus fare for one of us. We tossed a coin, Maggie won and went back to college and I boarded the bus. The trip took about 5 hours in all and the kindly Greg bought me a glass of orange juice to keep me going. On the way back, he nodded off on the bus with his account book open on his lap. I peeked at it to see if his account of his visit was more fascinating than his conversation, only to find that 'account' meant a log of his expenditure, not his sightseeing.
The account book was divided into several columns and every penny he had spent was logged. Under the heading 'Unnecessary expenditure' he listed 'Maureen's bus fare 4s 6d.
Maureen's orange drink 9d
No-one ever heard a word of gratitude from Greg. No-one ever heard of or from Greg again. Nice teeth he had though, don't you agree?
What a bounder! Let me apologise for all Americans for this dull, cheap, ungrateful product of our otherwise outstanding orthodontic industry.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's too late for Greg, sadly, but I promise not to collect any more skulls with fine teeth!
ReplyDelete"It's too late for Greg?" Given the subject matter of the post, that's a little ominous. No wonder no one ever heard from him again.
ReplyDeleteI think I ought to get back to being serious!
ReplyDeleteI hope by now, it's known that the Brit vs. Yank teeth meme is meant to be jocular.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, erp! Not just teeth, either, No offence is ever intended around here.
ReplyDeleteo/t My daughter will be in the UK next week to check out the work of a couple of architects. One in London and the other Glasgow. I don't mind telling you that I'm anything but sanguine about her traveling especially hearing all the crazy stuff with Moslem terrorists. She'd kill me if she heard me say this, but a mom's a mom no matter how grown up her chicks.
ReplyDeleteI know you'll worry whatever anyone says. I have spent many hours worrying about my daughter who lives in London but when I went to visit a couple of weeks ago I realised that everyone is going about their business normally. We didn't see any armed policemen or obvious security measures or feel that we were at risk at all. I feel very reassured now and just worry about her driving in London or getting stung by her bees!
ReplyDeleteI hope your daughter enjoys her trip and that you survive the anxiety.
New to your blog but immediately excited by any hobby that involves a human skull.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you, Chip. I've long enjoyed your comments on TofE and Thought Experiments.
ReplyDelete