Grockles. These are surfers and holidaymakers and they come in all shapes and sizes.
First there are the family groups who stay in holiday cottages, hotels or the holiday parks. We don't see much of them if the weather is good and they can toast themselves on the beaches. They only come into the village when they are so badly sunburnt that they need to see a doctor. They can be a bit of a nuisance when it rains, then they seek 'entertainment' because, coming from towns and cities, they don't realise that walking in the rain in the country can be fun! So, they create long traffic queues into the nearest town, hit the shops and get into another long traffic queue to return.
Less popular are the people who arrive towing their own caravans. These are not good on our narrow lanes and there is mayhem every Saturday when those leaving for home meet up with the new arrivals and the drivers' tempers are truly tested. I have never understood why anyone would want to tow a caravan; apart from being the most detested of roadusers, the caravans they bring are a fraction of the size of the static caravans in the holiday parks. Why cram your family into a box on wheels when you could have bedrooms, a bathroom and kitchen?
Then we get the 'campervanners', the dreaded surfers with their sunbleached hair, bronzed bodies and Aussie accents. They arrive en masse in tatty old VW camper vans, belching out exhaust fumes and loud music. They arrive before the holiday season proper starts, taking all the jobs in the holiday parks while local youngsters are still at school or college. They live in their vans, taking every available free parking space near the beaches, so that locals and paying holidaymakers have to use the expensive official carparks.
We are told that all of this is good for 'the local economy' but I haven't noticed any benefits. Thanks to the demands of the holiday industry, our water bills are the highest in Britain. Our roads are choked with traffic from April to September. The local shopkeepers bump up all their prices as soon as the first grockles appear. We can't get into our favourite pubs and restaurants ... I could go on ...
Roll on September when they all go home and peace returns. Phew! I needed a bit of a grump after that serious post I finished yesterday!