Fiery fusion

I planned to cook a quick stir fry lunch today. I had plenty of vegetables and noodles to hand but the local grocer only had plain tofu - not very exciting -  so I decided to marinate it. This bottle of sauce has been waiting for just such an opportunity ever since my son brought it back from the Caribbean two years ago.

 After an hour of marinading, I added the tofu to the stir-fried vegetables, added some hoisin sauce and noodles and sat down to enjoy my "fusion" of Chinese and Caribbean flavours.

Lips fused to teeth, tongue to the roof of the mouth, throat constricted, eyes watered! The MM bravely finished his bowl with nothing more than a glass of water to help. (He hasn't spoken to me since leaving the table but I think that is because he can't!) I struggled to the fridge for the Greek yoghurt and a spoonful eased the painful mouth. Then I spotted some Italian tomato and olive sauce; I added this to my bowl and was able to eat the rest of the meal.

My fusion dish turned into a confusion of Chinese, Caribbean, Greek and Italian; not my greatest culinary triumph I must admit but my sinuses have never felt so clear, so I should be in good voice for tonight's Easter vigil.

Don't try this at home.