I came across this amusing distraction on Cathy's Capers. You Google "unfortunately ........." ( your name) and see what comes up. I tried "unfortunately Maureen" and came up with 248 pages. Here are some of the funnier ones:
"Unfortunately, Maureen never encountered any bears as she was leaving town either, and she’ll be returning home empty handed. ..."
"The perception is what counts and that is all there is, unfortunately. Maureen has my vote for the best looking old maid working for the NY ..."
"Unfortunately, Maureen discovered that Pudge and she were exactly the same weight and height—that did it! Through pure vanity, Maureen kicked her sugar ..."
"Unfortunately, Maureen, who doesn't need gilding, didn't get to keep them. Next to diamonds, emeralds are a girl's best friends." ...
I'm not sure what my children will think of this one:
"Unfortunately Maureen's records were not kept accurate,so the degree of mixture of breeds still remains unknown. Maureen has retired from breeding,"
"Unfortunately, Maureen was so inspired, she immediately ordered me to build a barn in our empty land across the street. So, anyway, next time you’re in the ..."
Try it with your name but don't forget the quotation marks.