Hello everyone, I'm Amelia, known to all my fans as Millie, so you may call me that too. I thought it was time I had a go at this blogging, I heard Grandma saying she puts her foot in her mouth on here sometimes and I'm a champion at getting both my feet into my mouth, so I should be good. Also, as you can see from my photograph, I am doing research for my doctorate at UCL and I need some practice at typing for when I write my thesis.I was chatting to my chums at the baby clinic last week and they told me that grandmas are good at 'dancing attendance' on babies but mine doesn't seem to know about that; she started off well enough on Monday morning with a bit of flamenco but things have got slower and today she can hardly manage a slow foxtrot. Actually, she is lying in a heap on the floor right now as she couldn't seem to make it to the chair. Don't worry though, I have this bit of string tied to her wrist and when I want something, all I have to do is pull it and she jumps up. That was one of the tips from my chums!
I learned a few more tricks from them: every time you hear your grandma pour a cup of tea, open the bathroom door or sit on a sofa, you just give a little scream and she comes running. It works every time! I can promise you that my grandma hasn't finished a single hot drink for four days and when Mummy comes home from work the first thing G'ma says is 'Quick, take her, I just have to get to the loo!'
Some of my best tricks are to do with feeding and nappies, I think they are really funny but you might like to look away now. When I'm all nicely bathed and dressed and have just finished my bottle, I like to bring the whole lot back up, carefully avoiding the muslin round my neck and aiming straight for Grandma's skirt. The other one I like is where I show her how I won the Super Pooper Award; that's a really good one because I get an extra play in the bath afterwards and Grandma falls down in that funny heap on the floor.
I'm having a great time but don't tell any of the Grownups. I like to keep them practising their dancing!
Lots of love from Millie xxx
Love you, Millie! A champion blogger in the making. And that PhD will be a pushover.
ReplyDeleteCan I send you a handy tip from my own daughters (and indeed my son, who was possibly even better at it than his sisters). It's soooo funny! Grandma will love it!
What you need to do is this: save up an entire day's worth of poo; wait until you're freshly bathed and baby-lotioned and powdered and poppa'd into a snowy-white babygro ready for bed on soft, clean sheets; listen to the lullabies and smile sweetly through all the rocking; pretend to have dozed off like a good girl and then, when Grandma's left the room, turn purple, scream piercingly and do the Mother of All Poos, making absolutely sure that it goes all down *both* legs and up your back so far that it comes out of the neck of the babygro. Don't forget that last bit. It's very important to get it in your hair too. Grandma will find it completely hilarious and will smile indulgently as she baths you all over again, dries, lotions, powders, changes the sheets, sings (possibly through clenched teeth, but hey, it's still singing) and rocks (possibly quite briskly).
Let me know you get on!
Grandma here, J. That's quite enough thank you!
ReplyDeletem 2.0 - excellent post, but what is that on your head?
ReplyDeleteOops, sorry M, didn't realise you were still awake and listening in!
ReplyDeleteMillie - what a clever girl you are and what a natty line in headgear. You must tell us all the name of your milliner. I see that you and your chums have got this 'keeping Grandma on her toes' lark off to a fine art. I can see you will go far, what with a PhD and all.
ReplyDeleteI expect you and your chums will soon be developing your skills for that splendid game known as 'Throwing my food on the floor'. This is great fun, especially when your food is all nice and mashed up and runny and sticky. The best way is to scoop up some food on your spoon and aim your spoon at a distant object. It goes further that way and makes an interesting pattern on the carpet, wood flooring, yesterday's newspapers or the dog. Cats are usually sensible enough to run for cover.
Tell your lovely Grandma that her blogging buddies also put their feet in their mouths - sometimes both feet at the same time. Which is probably why they are all good friends and even manage to laugh about these things.
Grandma here again, e, as Millie (thank heavens!) has gone to bed. She is very considerate at night, usually sleeping for 9 hours - believe me.
ReplyDeleteThe head gear? She's taking part in a research project at University College London, to examine visual development in infants. The 'hat' helps record her responses to visual stimuli. I don't know how or why but it isn't so terrifying as it looks because Millie loved having it on.
She doesn't quite understand that the PhD will go to someone else!
Not to worry, m.2.0 will get credit she can use on her college entrance applications.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to know more about the project, email me a link if you have one.
Not to worry, m.2.0 will get credit she can use on her college entrance applications.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to know more about the project, email me a link if you have one.