The national autumnal sport of conkers is under threat from climate changes caused by global warming. The horse chestnut trees are already fruiting, apparently, and the conkers will be past their best by September.
What shall we do? Import conkers from cooler climes or get the kids to fight with their iPods?
Is this post an example of the art of fine English ironic humor?
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid to say it is deadly serious, erp. I've never heard of the 'oddly, oddly onkers' rhyme (which I suspect might be one of those Olde Worlde traditions invented last week), other than that, it is all factual.
ReplyDeleteThis is nuts!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that is meant in a kindly fashion!
ReplyDeleteOther people are nuts, erp. The English are eccentric.
ReplyDeleteIt's a pun. We're talking chestnuts here.
ReplyDeleteerp and Peter, I declare you both 'oners' but beware of 'strings'
ReplyDelete'oners? Boners, goners, honers, loners, toners, zoners? Surely not stoners?
ReplyDelete'strings? No guess.
'oner' is the score if you get one hit with your conker, erp, twoer,threer,fourer etc - very complex! 'Strings' is when you get your conker string tangled with that of your opponent - then you call 'strings' to allow you to untangle them without risking your knuckles.
ReplyDeleteAs I was saying, erp, other people are nuts but the English are....
ReplyDeleteSo what games did you play as a boy, Peter? Surely you had something similar to conkers or do we have a monopoly on inventiveness?
ReplyDeleteOh, you know, the usual: hockey, hide 'n seek, tag, doctor. Nothing like conkers or this sort of thing you play in more interesting countries that feature...
ReplyDeleteHmm...inventiveness? Yes, that's just the word I was looking for--inventiveness.
I guess that makes your's the 'killer' conker, Peter.
ReplyDeletemonix, why the (') in front of the word 'oners? Usually that means a contraction or missing letter. I've not seen this usage before and wonder if it's peculiar to English English grammar as opposed to American English grammar?
ReplyDeleteIt isn't an apostrophe, erp, but a quotation mark. I tend to use 'single marks' to denote the word I'm referring to, or if it is an invented word. I use the "double marks" for quoted speech. I think they are interchangeable, but that is the way that I use them. Sorry for the confusion.
ReplyDeleteTo further complicate. I took the (') at the end of 'oners' as a possessive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for clearing that up.