January reflections

Belated New Year greetings to all. I had intended posting this piece earlier but I saw that my son had introduced his New Year post on The Dabbler with allusions to Janus, just as  was intending to do here. Now that his post is history, I've decided to use mine!

 

Many people find January a gloomy and depressing month but I like the opportunity to look back and towards the future at the same time.  The New Year isn't so much a time for making Resolutions, (pie-crust promises as Mary Poppins might say),  as for getting things into perspective.

For many years, January was a sad month for us: my father died on January second; a few years later my younger sister, barely thirty years old, died on January twenty-third and, just a few years later, my mother died on January twenty-fourth. I used to dread the coming of January with its feelings of loss and grief and I couldn't bear New Year celebrations. As time has passed, though, happy memories have taken precedence and I find it is good to have this specific time in the year when I look back on the lives of my parents and sister and recall all the positive aspects of their lives. My brother and older sister and I share funny stories from our childhood - there is nothing like laughter to put things into perspective: it overwhelms sadness just as light overwhelms darkness.

I always think of Janus on January 23rd. Not only is it the anniversary of my sister's death but also the day on which I twice had life-saving surgery, the same day in consecutive years. As anyone who is "in remission" knows, there is always an element of fear as check-ups and anniversaries approach but the image of Janus reminds me that each year I have further to look back on; years filled now with precious memories. Hope, like laughter, is a powerful antidote to gloom.

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I'm going to invent a new word and describe the opening of a new diary as Janusistic. I sit with last year's diary and transfer significant dates to the new one, then I take out all the appointment cards that I've kept in the back of the old one while waiting for the new one to arrive.  What an opportunity to practise saying, "Goodness, is it so long since ......." at the same time, recognising that the teeth, feet, eyes and ears are all another year older!

Filling in the dental appointments is the task I like least.  I think of all the money I pay to be tortured! Not by my lovely dentist, I must hasten to say, but by the hygienist who offers spurious excuses for the agonising scraping and poking at my poor ivories and gums; it takes days for me to recover. On a brighter note, the waiting room always has tubs of sample tubes of different toothpastes. I like to pick up a few as they are the perfect size for overnight or weekend visits. One such sample intrigued me: the manufacturer noted the herbal ingredients and stated that many people found that, after using the toothpaste for14 days,  they quite liked it. I don't know which PR firm they employ.

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It was 6 January 1989 when we moved from Hampshire to Devon. Looking back over the 25 years that we have lived in this house, we see many changes. We arrived here with a young son and daughter, they are now grown  with children of their own. The quiet village has grown into a busy thoroughfare, taking traffic to the beaches. We have been talking about leaving for several years and perhaps 2014 will see that happen. The great de-clutter has begun! Grandchildren Millie and Ben are very keen to have us move close to them, in fact so close that they want to build a house for us in their garden. They spent hours designing the ideal home for us:

It is a house with many doors and windows. Ben chose the shapes and colours, Millie did the drawing. There are enough rooms for us to entertain everyone we know. I can't wait to get there!

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I know that the weather is a real problem for many people, this January but I hope that the freezing conditions in US and the floods in UK will soon be over and that everyone has a good year ahead.

Looking forward to a dry January

I'm not thinking of that dry January, although I wish you well if you have signed up to it. My greatest wish for 2013 is for some dry weather.  Since April 2012 more rain has fallen on the West Country than at any time in the last 60 years. High tides and more torrential rain in the days before Christmas caused rivers and streams to burst their banks and the whole area has suffered from floods and land slips.

The normally gentle little river that runs through our village, pictured here in May 2012,

looked like this on Christmas Eve

Many  houses, shops and business premises flooded.

Fortunately, my house is higher up than the river and was not affected by the flooding but we were stranded for a while as the roads were impassable. Our greatest concern was whether the family would be able to get through for Christmas. I'm pleased to say they made it but our enjoyment was tempered by the problems that many of our neighbours were suffering.

Despite the weather and the gloomy surroundings, the grandchildren made Christmas a happy time for everyone. The last of the visitors left (in the rain!) yesterday and we are busy putting the house back in order and doing all that laundry!

I wish you all a very happy New Year and a prosperous and dry 2013.

New Year

2011 was not the best of years for me, with many deaths and some health issues to deal with but it ended on the highest possible note with the birth of granddaughter Elizabeth Orla. The new year promises to be filled with activity, we are already booked for babysitting at the end of January, and there is nothing quite like a full diary to keep away the gloom.

Susan Coolidge (1835 -1905) is probably best known for her children's novels, especially the "Katy" books. I have recently discovered that she also wrote poetry and this seems an appropriate choice for the beginning of the year:

New every morning

Every day is a fresh beginning,

Listen my soul to the glad refrain.

And, spite of old sorrows

And older sinning,

Troubles forecasted

And possible pain,

Take heart with the day and begin again. 

 

Happy New Year to you all. May 2012 be a happy, healthy and peaceful year for you and yours.

How does your garden grow?

The new header picture shows the camellia Little Bit, flowering in my garden in January 2009. At that time, there was a glorious display of camellias, hellebores and snowdrops but today I found a great deal of depressing devastation. Winters here are normally very mild and plants that people in other parts of the UK would dig up or protect survive and flourish with no special attention. How I wish I had heeded my country neighbours who told me that the abundance of berries warned of harsh weather to come, instead of believing the predictions from the Met Office.

Most of the snow has gone, leaving the ground saturated and the plants bent and broken and still harbouring some ice crystals.

I walked around, feeling quite overwhelmed by the destruction and wondering if I could face replanting the whole garden, then I saw a few signs of life. The camellias, which would normally be in full bloom by now, still have their buds:

The magnolia buds look rather forlorn but perhaps they will open:

and the lilacs promise to fill the garden with colour and scent, even if nothing else has survived

I hope the Big Freeze is not leaving you with the effects of a Terrible Thaw.

New Year greetings

I would like to wish everyone a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

The sea may look a bit choppy and grey and the air is definitely chilly, but look at that bright horizon!

My New Year inspiration from Thomas Merton:

I think what I need to learn is an almost infinite tolerance and compassion because negative thought gets nowhere. I am beginning to think that in our time we will correct almost nothing and get almost nowhere: but if we can just prepare a compassionate and receptive soil for the future, we will have done a great work.

Books, books, books...

I am pleased to say that the Maps and Map-Makers book is en route to America, where I hope it will be enjoyed by Karin's brother. The clearance of the library has taken on a new urgency and it will have to be far more drastic than simple decluttering. The room is to be transformed, within ten days, into a bed-sitting room for my 92 year old mother in-law She has become very frail since Christmas and daily visits to her retirement apartment are no longer enough for our peace of mind. We are now hoping for a miracle that will find a builder who is willing and able to install a shower room on the ground floor for us!

While husband is out and about on that mission, I have been packing boxes with books. I haven't yet decided whether to be ruthless and simply ring a charity to collect them, or to sort them into categories - those I would really like to keep, those that friends and family members might like etc. I expect that Time will be the deciding factor.

I am taking a short break from packing boxes, sitting here with a cup of tea and trying hard not to panic at the thought of the scale of the task facing us and, beyond that, the changes coming into our life. To relieve the tension, I thought I would look at some of the books that I had for Christmas. They are waiting safely on my bedside table so that there is no risk of them falling into one of the boxes.

I still haven't read Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping. I had planned to do that in readiness for the discussion on her other books Gilead and Home, but to date only one person has shown any interest in that discussion. I have noticed a resurgence of interest in Gilead on several book blogs, so perhaps that discussion might yet take place. Do let me know if you are interested.

The books in this particular pile have been chosen for their undemanding nature. I have a feeling that I will be needing something to help me relax at the end of the next few days.

Soul food

If of thy mortal good thou art bereft

And of thy slender store two loaves
alone to thee are left,
Sell one, and with the dole
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul
Saadi

New Year resolution

I read many excellent, interesting and inspiring books in 2008 but there is one that has had a profound effect on my outlook on life. It is a book that I reviewed at the beginning of November: The Boomer Burden by Julie Hall. I promised to take a serious look at the issues raised in the book as soon as the Christmas holiday was over and here I am on 2nd January, ready to face a new year with enthusiasm and determination.

Like most people, I joke about getting older: the slowing pace of life and the forgetfulness. I don't feel old and, according to my children, I don't look old, thanks to the gene I inherited from my father that keeps my hair from turning grey. I can't keep on thinking of myself as middle-aged though, unless I plan to live to be 125 or more and my father certainly did not pass on a longevity gene; he died 30 years ago today, at the age of 66 (or 16 if we only count his Leap Year birthdays). My mother died unexpectedly at 72, so my family has not had to consider the implications of aged parents. As my sister still lives in the family home, we haven't had to dispose of their possessions, either.

The Boomer Burden made me think about how different my life is from that of my parents. I have lived in several different parts of England, while they died in the place where they were born. They lived quite simply, while I have accumulated masses of 'stuff' which, alongside all that my husband has amassed and all that the children have left behind, would be a dreadful burden for someone to have to sort through. 'Someone' in our case could only be our son and daughter and we don't want that to be their legacy.

So, at dinner last night, my husband and I made a resolution for 2009: we will de-clutter. The thought of empty cupboards and shelves, of space and tidiness and ease of movement around the house is thrilling. The thought of actually disposing of all that we have collected during 35 years of marriage is perhaps not quite so exciting. But we are determined. We are resolute. The MM has already made a start in the library, selecting 50 books at random and piling them on the table. The first problem/tension: 38 of them belong to me! I think this exercise is going to take a long time.
I was interested to see that my husband has set aside a number of his maritime books. Perhaps a final acknowledgement that his sea-faring days really are over? Most of them will probably go to a charity shop but this 1970 edition of R.V. Tooley's Maps and Map-Makers might be of interest to someone. It is a hard back in good condition. If you would like to have it then leave a comment or send me an email. I'll post it to anywhere in the world, I just ask that you make a donation equivalent to the postage to a charity.

There will be lots more items in the great give-away of 2009 so watch this space!

New Year Greetings

I would like to wish all who call by here, as friends, regular visitors or passers by, happiness, peace, good health and prosperity in 2009. I'll share one of my favourite blessings from Iona:

God bless our good dreaming.
Lift us out of our dull and lifeless moments
so that we may tumble with fools,
skip with children,
walk on water
and fly with angels.

Happy New Year!
Maureen

New Year, new life

This isn't yet another post about the expected grandchild! It is an inspiring story from today's papers about a retired dentist and his wife about to start a new life in New Zealand. You may think there is nothing very unusual about a couple deciding to emigrate on their retirement but Mr King-Turner is 102 and his wife 87 years old.

Why do they want to change their lives so dramatically at their age? Mr King-Turner explains: "I like New Zealand. The way of life is much the same as here but it is not so crowded and the weather is better." He also gives us all some sound advice: if you want to do something, do it straight away. I think I might frame his next words to inspire me through 2008:

"What's important is that when I'm 105 I don't want to be thinking 'I wish I had moved to the other side of the world when I was 102.' "

For auld lang syne

To Andrew, Anna, Tanith, Crinny, Diane, Peter, David, Juliet, Duck, Erp, Elaine, Skipper, Bret, Susan's Husband and those unnamed visitors who call in from time to time, may 2008 bring you all health and happiness.

Happy New Year!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne